It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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