I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
