One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
