yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
