I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
