just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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