Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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