But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
