my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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