can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
i drank out of a bidet.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
