like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize