I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
this will be a night to untag.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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