imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
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When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
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He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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