whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
