Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Randomize
