No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
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I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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