so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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