Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
The chlamydia really affected his face.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
