hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
