im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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