This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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