i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
