Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
My balls are so social today.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
