Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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