Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
