There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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