I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
After last night, I could never be a politician.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
