Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
