8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
babies were throwing up all over the place
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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