i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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