Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
