I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
