She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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