would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
