The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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