are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Randomize
