Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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