Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
