Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
So squirting runs in the family.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
