She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
