So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
