i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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