I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
