Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
