All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
