I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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