you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
