I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
