Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
