how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
