im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize
