i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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