Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
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I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
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Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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