we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
