i barfeds in our rink
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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