this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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