"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
