Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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