this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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