he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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