yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
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that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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