My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Just took my morning after pill in the library
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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