I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
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sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
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You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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